East Tennessee Media Archives

November 14, 2008

The heat is on in the chase for the next University of Tennessee football coach. Replacing Phil Fulmer thus far has brought a few names to the mix. An inside source in the athletic department at the University of Cincinnati is reporting the latest candidate to be current Bobcats coach Brian Kelley.
Let’s take a look at the top five names mentioned so far:

1. Steve Spurrier - University of South Carolina: From the get go...it's a no-no for Spurrier. Spurrier said it would have been a great opportunity for him five years ago. Chance of taking the UT job - 0 percent.

2. Jon Gruden - Tampa Bay Bucs: A candidate by default, Gruden said that "He is where he wants to be" concerning the NFL. Gruden is a former grad assistant at UT, but is playing the pro card in his favor. Chance of taking the UT job - 0 percent.

3. Butch Davis - UNC Tarheels: This pick surprised me. Sources at the University of Tennessee told me it was his job if he wanted it. Too bad for Butch. He will regret that decision. I think he feared playing in the SEC. Davis is known as a football genius and really helped build the University of Miami to eventual national champions. But, it was Larry Coker who crossed the finish-line. Davis may be playing mind games with UT, but it looks like he is staying put at UNC. Chance of taking UT job - 15 percent.

4. David Cutcliffe - Duke - The obvious choice from the beginning quickly shot down the rumors with a big fat 'NO'. Cutcliffe loves being the big man in a little pond. He knows the pressures that reside in Knoxville. He fits the bill, though. The Vols are looking for experience over youth to coach the team. Chance of taking UT job - 20 percent.

5. Mike Leach - Texas Tech - This guy is winning in the new age of football. It has been a long haul for Leach, but it looks like his chance to become a national champion will happen this season. Word in Texas is that he is very open to talking to administration at Tennessee. Why not? It is a major upgrade. If the Vols wait until after year to name their coach...Leach could be a big possibility. Chance of taking UT job - 35 percent.

December 5, 2008

The BCS has a system…so I have a new system. It is call the FAC (Find a Coach).
This week…the FAC is in dire demand in Knoxville, Tennessee.
Beep…beeep…beeeeeep…beeeeeeeeep! The FAC has landed at the University of Tennessee and the objective is to find a new football coach. Former University of Tennessee football coach Phil Fulmer is out the door (Thank God) and a new leader will emerge.
First of all…when finding a coach three FAC criteria must be met. 
1.    Is this coach better than the last coach?
2.    Will this coach win and put people in the seats?
3.    Can this coach recruit or motivate?
Well…the FAC-finding is out and here are the top 10 candidates and their FAC scores. (Higher score the better). Starting with the No. 10 FAC Candidate.

10. Bill Cowher: FAC score 90. Positives: Daughter attends UT. He wears a Super Bowl ring. He is intimidating. Negatives: If I am a parent…I do not want my son playing for him. I would be scared of him. Too aggressive.

9. David Cutcliffe: FAC score 101. Positives: Knows the system. Can win at a small school with no talent. Coach with plenty of connections. Can recruit. Knows the SEC. Negatives: This guy is unstable. Likes to look for something bigger and better all the time. I don’t trust him. Football genius, but not what Tennessee needs. They need a change…not the same old same old.

8. Jon Gruden: FAC score 102. Positives: Has Tennessee ties with his wife…a Jefferson County product. Has the testosterone to stand up to Nick Saban and Urban Meyer. Lasted more than one year with Al Davis in Oakland. Knows how to win the big game. Negatives: Gruden is like Enron or Fannie Mac. His stock is on the decline. I would rather hire John Chavis.

7. Mike Shanahan: FAC score 109. Positives: Dominated Pete Carroll in the pros…could do the same in thecollege ranks. Knows both sides of the football. Could represent the University in recruiting. Negatives: Reminds me of Fulmer. Brings a lot of promise to the table, but never finishes. Has trouble controlling his team for a full-season.

6. Phil Fulmer: FAC score 115. Positives: Knows the system. Bleeds orange. Could run the table and Hamilton could pull a shocker. He is already going to cost the school millions and is bringing in a strong class. Negatives: Been there, done that. Mind will be on the Washington Huskies job.

5. Steve Spurrier: FAC score 125. Positives: When given the right players, he is a winner. Master recruiter. Have Tennessee ties with his Johnson City upbringing. Has dominated the SEC for years. Negatives: Wears a visor in the winter. Was picked on in high school. Probably wears diapers. His time has passed.

4. Lane Kiffin: FAC score 133. Positives: Young. Motivated. Dominated at USC. Negatives: The Raiders saga. Known to be a pushover. Too honest.

3. Chris Peterson: FAC score 140. Positives: Has totally dominated at Boise State. Can beat the big team with his schemes. Reminds people a lot of Urban Meyer. Only 43-years old. Negatives: The SEC is not the WAC. Would take his bumps and bruises early and would probably disgruntle the fans.

2. Mike Leach: FAC score 145. Positives: Will probably win the national championship this year at Texas Tech. Smart. Law school graduate. Quotes Winston Churchill and Machiavelli after the games instead of talking football. Negatives: Waiting on him would kill our recruiting class. He would not fit in East Tennessee.

1. Will Muschamp: FAC score 150: Positives: Young. Cusses like a sailor. Can recruit. Fiery. Has changed the dynamics of University of Texas defense despite having a young defensive backfield. Played at Georgia and coached under Saban at LSU. His favorite quote is ‘stats are for losers, I like winning games’.  Would solve the off-the-field problems quickly at UT. Would skip bowl game and come straight to UT. Negatives: He is 37 years old. Still has a lot to learn. Inexperience could cost UT in big situations.

Overall Verdict: Muschamp is the man. Bring him in and let Fulmer show him the ropes around town. He will bring attitude to the team. He will go on ESPN and tell Les Miles, Saban, and Meyer to stick it where the sun does not shine. The Vols need this. The entire state of Tennessee needs this.

October 15, 2008

While fellow sports writer Kevin Barnard keeps loving Phil Fulmer, I will provide you with something to do while the University of Tennessee plays football.  Introducing…the top 10 movies to watch while Fulmer and the Vols disappoint us again. (Please check ratings before viewing with family).

Here it is…the Chris Ayers University of Phil Fulmer Who Cares Top 10

10. The Sting (1973): Starring Paul Newman and Robert Redford -In 1930s Chicago, a young con man seeking revenge for his murdered partner teams up with a master of the big con to win a fortune from a criminal banker. (Ayers take – Two on-screen legends at their best. Gotta love Redford in this one. Makes me want to hustle someone. I would hustle, but I am too lazy).

9. Silence of the Lambs (1991): Starring Anthony Hopkins and Jodie Foster - Dr. Hannibal Lector. Brilliant. Cunning. Psychotic. In his mind lies the clue to a ruthless killer. - Clarice Starling,  FBI. Brilliant. Vulnerable. Alone. She must trust him to stop the killer. (Ayers take – Well, hello Clarice. FYI – Hopkins won on Oscar for this role and only appeared onscreen for a total of 15 minutes as Hannibal Lector).

8. The Princess Bride (1987): Starring Cary Elwes, Andre the Giant, and Billy Crystal - Scaling the Cliffs of Insanity, Battling Rodents of Unusual Size, Facing torture in the Pit of Despair. - True love has never been a snap. (Ayers take – I love this movie!! Go rent it. Enjoy it).

7. The Departed  (2006): Starring: Everybody-  Two men from opposite sides of the law are undercover within the Massachusetts State Police and the Irish mafia, but violence and bloodshed boil when discoveries are made, and the moles are dispatched to find out their enemy's identities. (Ayers take – Every time I watch this movie...I want to go enroll as an undercover cop. Then I realize…I am too lazy and don’t want to get shot in the gut).

6. The Prestige (2006): Starring: Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman - A friendship that became a rivalry. A rivalry that turned deadly. (Ayers take - Every time I watch this movie...I want to become a magician…then I realize that the only thing in life I could ever do was hit a baseball.)

5. Braveheart (1995): Starring: Mel Gibson- William Wallace, a commoner, unites the 13th Century Scots in their battle to overthrow English rule. (Ayers take - FREEDOM! I would rather live in communism than be gutted like old Mel was, but gotta love his patriotism).

4. Stand By Me (1986): Starring River Phoenix - After the death of a friend, a writer recounts a boyhood journey to find a body of a missing boy. (Ayers take - Awesome movie. A young River Phoenix really takes control).

3. Saw (2004): Starring Danny Glover and Cary Elwes - Death is a shortcut. (Ayers take – Best ending to a movie that I have ever seen. Gotta love the twist. Never saw it coming).

2. Office Space (1999): Starring Ron Livingston and Jennifer Aniston - Comedic tale of company workers who hate their jobs and decide to rebel against their greedy boss. (Ayers take – Funny stuff. Every time I watch this movie I could care less about my job).

1. Primal Fear (1996): Starring Richard Gere and Edward Norton - Sooner or later a man who wears two faces forgets which one is real. (Ayers take – A young Edward Norton dominates. Go rent it).

September 2, 2008

 I will not try to insult your intelligence by saying how ugly Monday night’s loss to UCLA was. The announcers glorified themselves and ESPN by saying how exciting and great the game played out to be. I’ve covered and seen thousands of ball games and the game reminded me of a middle school football contest….especially the first half.

I went to bed Monday night after the defeat with a bird-flipping mentality to the Tennessee Vols and Phil Fulmer. I even had thoughts of switching teams.

I know…it was first-game jitters.

Was it not the first game for UCLA?

It was a hostile environment in a big stadium…on the road.

If it was so hostile, then why did the Volunteers intercept four first-half passes?

I am not buying those excuses, so don’t try to sale them to me.

The Phil Fulmer era is just like dating a hot girl. She will eventually dump you and you’ll come crying back. She takes you back, and then dumps you again. She will always let you down. You think things are going well and there is a chance, but BAM…in comes some hotter guy in the dance club who takes your place. The tease gets old.

The feeling in my stomach on Tuesday morning reminded me of being dumped.

Except for some hot chick doing the dumping, it was Phillip and the Vols.

I cannot believe the Vols are 0-1. There goes are perfect season. There goes the unveiling of Dave Clawson. Trooper Taylor where have you gone? Randy Sanders…are you back calling plays? I sure felt like it.

Speaking of Clawson….did he not look like a deer caught in the headlights or even Blue in ‘Old School’ before his death when boxing the two nude women? Each time the camera panned to Clawson, I kept expecting pee to be trickling down his pants.

I wonder if he still has Radford on his speed dial.

Ok, in the second half we (I can say we…I am from Tennessee) were bombarded by blitzes. Ok, Dr. Clawson…throw a screen. 2+2=4. The formula of beating a blitz is screens. Duh! The formula to beating blitzes is not letting Jonathan Crompton go from under center…two-step dropping and throwing the ball 15 yards down field into the ground.

I also understand that Arian Foster has fumbleitis. He has had since high school in California and during his tenure at Tennessee.  He will always have it.

Did Fulmer and Clawson not get the memo about Foster? Here is the fax: He…Fumbles…When…The ….Heat…Is….On. Good, I hope this fax went through.

Let Foster be the workhorse and once the red zone is near…send him to the bench to get his Gatorade. Then, let Montario Hardesty take over.

After you follow this formula…get on the plane…come back home with a 42-10 win. It’s that simple. Do not overanalyze football. Go with what works. It is like dating that hot chick. If she doesn’t like your red short…don’t wear it. Switch to the green one that works.

Overall, I give everyone on the Vols an F except for Hardesty. Monday night was the worst performance by the Vols since the 30-3 Peach Bowl loss to Maryland in 2002.

Everyone is saying, well, we lost to California last year to begin the year and ended up one game away from a BCS Bowl Bid. As Lee Corso Ayers would say, “UCLA is no California, my friend.”

It’s going to be a long year. I sure hope Fulmer will earn his paycheck and fix things. And I am not talking about slowly cooking to fix, I am saying microwave this mug.

August 18, 2008

 The Webster’s dictionary defines an athlete as: a person who is trained or skilled in exercises, sports, or games requiring physical strength, agility, or stamina.

I will be the first to admit that watching Michael Phelps capture his 8^th gold medal was an uplifting experience. I will also be the first to admit that I’m tired of Michael Phelps.

Ok, Phelps is a great swimmer, but don’t crown him the messiah just yet.

I am sick of hearing from the Olympic announcers that he is the greatest athlete of all time. The great debate begins. Are the announcers right? Is Phelps the greatest athlete of all-time? I don’t think so.

Michael Jordan, Bo Jackson, Alex Rodriguez, Deion Sanders, Lebron James, Muhammed Ali, and Lance Armstrong are a few athletes who come to mind when comparing athletic skills to Phelps’.

Could Michael Jordan win eight different basketball events…such as…free-throws, 3-point shooting, dunking, or say dribbling in the Olympics? I don’t think he could.

Jordan may win a few of those, but not all. He might be the best dunker, the best scorer, but Ray Allen could out shoot him behind the arc.

Jordan would win plenty of events, but when judging Phelps you must also include the team relay factor. The hole in the medal events is opened when you include the relay events.

Jordan got to use Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, and the rest of the ‘Dream Team’ to win the gold before. What if one of Phelps’ teammates was injured during a race and the USA team finished last. Phelps is no better than Mark Spitz.

So, after using this hypothesis…Jordan and Phelps actually fall in the same category. They both dominated their sport, but they had help.

The best athlete is someone who can walk in the room and have the best chance at winning anything from shooting a basketball to throwing a Frisbee.

Let’s take a look at Bo Jackson. A two-sport star, but was he as dominant in either sport of baseball and football as say Jordan was in basketball? Jackson was a real force to be reckoned with on both fields, but could he win a gold medal in both baseball and football? I think so. Jackson could win the home run hitting contest and probably the ‘run over the linebacker’ event if there was one.

I remember Jackson homering in the all-star game. I also remember him blasting through the defensive line as a running back. Is Jackson a better athlete than Phelps?

Phelps clearly dominated his sport. Jackson did not. Jackson was a heck of a player, but he did not have the opportunity to concentrate on one sport like Phelps does.

The same could be said about Deion Sanders. He could run a sub 4.3 40-dash. He played in the playoffs for the Atlanta Braves after flying via helicopter to Atlanta after a football game. That took plenty of determination and athletic ability.

Armstrong is in the same category as Phelps, Ali, and Jordan. Domination in one category, but he also used the team factor to put him over the top. During his Tour-de-France races, his teammates were in the background making sure Sir Lance-A-Lot stayed in the front. Jordan played in a team sport, too. The championships were not flowing in Chicago until Scottie Pippen and Steve Kerr arrived.

I look back at the definition of the word athlete. The only way to figure out the greatest athlete is to combine these skills as one….physical strength, agility, and stamina.

Who was the biggest, the baddest, the fastest, and in top-top shape?

My pick is Bo Jackson. They say the hardest thing to do in all of sports is hit a fastball. Not only did he hit the fastball with skill, he also broke down the defensive line with vengeance.

Phelps…you are the man, but BO KNOWS he is the man. Could Phelps win the gold in archery or track? No, he could not.

Phelps is the best swimmer, but he is not the best athlete of all time.

August 12, 2008

 With all apologies to rapper Eminem…..guess who’s back, back again?…Chris is back…tell a friend.

My journalism retirement did not last long. I walked away from the journalistic game the same week as Brett Favre retired and the following weeks after Don D. Woods left the helm of Morristown West. Well, Favre is a Jet, Woods is a Keydet, and I am on welfare.

Journalism is kind of like the mafia…you want to leave, but it just keeps pulling you back in. Well, actually, it was Steve Wilhoit who pulled me back in this time. Come to think of it, Steve does have a 70’s Godfather look to him.

Anyways, I’ve always been a straight shooter (except on the basketball court). So, I’m going to cut to the chase. My first topic is the infamous www.topix.net/city/morristown-tn.

Well, I learned a long time ago from Coach Woods never to read message boards or pay attention to negativity.

After numerous text messages and phone calls, I was informed that I was the subject of a message. “Why did Chris Ayers leave the Citizen Tribune?”

Well, instead of a simple a…I have no clue. The board was bombarded from everything from “He’s arrogant" to "He’s too wordy.”

Being the straight shooter that I am (except on the archery field)…I’ll fill in the blanks on why I left.

I was in the last semester of graduating at Walters State with a history degree. I was taking a full schedule at school. I was also putting in over 40 hours a week at work. Being the pretty boy that I am (as some would say on the topics board)...I decided to concentrate on school. That’s it. No fireworks here. Just I chose my future over spending the present with Phillip Fulmer, Bruce Pearl, and numerous recreation league coaches.

The Citizen Tribune has also caught a lot of flack on topix.net also. Managing Editor John Gullion and Sports Editor Brian Trent are very dedicated to their profession and the paper. The right ingredients are there for many more awards. Give Gullion time to learn the area. He’s a neat guy who will do the right thing.

Trent loves the local sports scene. He is perfect for the position of Sports Editor.

You may not agree with what is being covered, but you must realize that the paper goes beyond the borders of the city of Morristown. If you take a close look at the map at the top of A-1, you will notice numerous counties. These counties are a part of the circulation of the Citizen Tribune. The old adage is “The Knoxville News-Sentinel is so much better.” I guarantee that the Sentinel would rarely cover anything remotely related to recreation sports. Such as Little League write-ups. So, be proud of your Citizen Tribune. It is filled with many employees who work hard and cherish their profession. Even though, I don’t understand the fascination with Stan Johnson’s cat. I like old Stan, though. He is like the John Cena versus Batista bout in Summer Slam. He is the main event.

Conclusion of the Matter

No more words from me this week. You know…I don’t want to brand myself of being “too wordy” in the opening week.